Ruzbeh N. Bharucha
Very often from our human perspective we may think that a relationship is over but from the karmic stand point there may be a lot more to receive and to give in the form of experiences, be it happiness, agony, deceit, pain, laughter and so on. The spiritual way forward is to give your level best and then leave the rest to The One. But as most of us are still grappling with inherent inadequacies and insecurities and are very much a part of the world and it’s abundant politics, the spiritual way is easier said than done. But the fact is that if we really want to move ahead or go truly within and grow, then one needs to operate from the least possible reactive manner. Proactive yes. Not reactive.
That does not mean that we have to take things in a submissive manner, not lie down on the floor metaphorically and have one and all walk over us with spiked shoes. The spiritual way is never a passive way. It is the proactive way which means one is striving for calmness and compassion to prevail without one becoming masochistic or playing the victim. But never in an aggressive manner. It has to come forth from calmness no matter how hard or ego destroying that might be to us. There is no other way. One cannot stop raging fire by tackling it with more fire. Karmic fire can only be doused by calmness and inner strength. Not aggression and in a reactive manner.
When things are not moving according to one’s comfort level we often react and unfortunately when there is the greatest need for calmness and wisdom, we lose our cool and once that happens we have already begun the process of professionally cutting our own feet. If we are going to react because of emotional ups and downs, emotional blackmail, stress, which then leads to unnecessary anxiety, insecurities, then we need to only blame one’s own self if the outcome which we are desirous of fades away. We let go off growing opportunities, both, spiritual and otherwise when we come forth from impulsiveness or self centeredness or playing the victim.
There are various reasons for things going wrong. There are various ways we can mess things up. Very often it is our fault and sometimes we are blamed for things we have no part to play in. Accusations, slander, senseless petty politics, manipulation can be a part of our lives or we can decide to not let all this muck smear our sanity and wellbeing, even if we can’t avoid it all together. But one thing is for sure, if one believes in the working of Karma, then somewhere, in this life time or in some past lifetime we have initiated this experience, we have planted the seeds for this situation to have fructified. It could be payback time or a lesson one needs to learn or an experience one needs to go through.
As have mentioned often, I am of the belief that if one believes in God then one has to believe in the laws of Karma and reincarnation as only then can we justify God as impartial and Just. If this is the only life time, the only one, then the inequalities that abound, the cruelty and the injustice that prevails would make God, a very impartial God and I would rather not believe in God than believe that our God is not Just. So if I am going through grief, I have sown the seeds sometime in the past, this lifetime or some other, to go through the experience of grief. Or it could be a test to see if I have gone beyond grief, attachments, self aspirations which would decide my growth in the spiritual realm or it could be because on a higher lever we have decided to take on the Karmic load of our loved ones. There could be various reasons and more but the fact is that I and only I am responsible for the experience; be it Karmic or spiritual or sharing load of my loved ones. The decision has been taken by me in another dimension, which has been forgotten on this dimension to go through, none the less which shall decide a lot of stuff that can unfold or remain hidden due to the decisions I take to handle this particular situation.
May be an experience has arisen to make us strong and calm enough to confront our fears, or to break our patterns as often we are slaves to our way of thought, action, speech, way of life.
Very often during such times the cosmos through the grace of one’s Goddess, God, Guru, will try to prevent us from cutting our own feet, but after a point if a person is hell bent on committing suicide, nobody, not even God can save that person. And sometimes after making a mistake, instead of making amendments, we feel that there is no way to turn around and thus begin to make blunders, which if unchecked then leads to catastrophes. Why? Because we made one mistake and then decided that there is no turning back. There is always turning back because I believe S(H)E is all Merciful.
Very often a situation can be handled more gracefully if we have asked the right questions.
First and foremost what is it that one really wants in any given experience or situation. So you start off with asking yourself what would be the ideal state that one would want a particular situation to culminate into. But as we are aware ideal states rarely fructify so then one needs to ask oneself how practical is it to seek the ideal outcome? Is it in my capacity to achieve the ideal outcome and if you are honest with yourself, if you avoid shadow boxing and not bullshit oneself at all and you are still convinced that the ideal scenario can be achieved then the next question one needs to ask oneself is what is stopping one from realising the ideal situation. Very often it is fear, lethargy, no self belief or not wanting to get out of one’s comfort zone or patterns of living and that is the greatest tragedy.
When an individual has the potential and is not moving towards his or her objective, that is one of the greatest tragedies of Creation. It is like the Cosmos has invested a particular energy and you and I are wasting it away.
Life is a journey where with every step we will either get closer to our destination or at least gain experience if we are travelling with eyes open. By just sitting down in one’s fancy vehicle, wanting to get to one’s destination, having all the maps, fuel, gear and gps, but never really starting the vehicle, is a rather silly way of getting on with one’s life or journey. If you commence with your journey at the most one might get lost, but trust me, that will still be better than just warming the car seat, with the vehicle not moving an inch forward.
Not many situations resolve by themselves. But for sure all situations get worse when one comes forth from reaction.
Very often if one were to jot down the do’s and don’ts and then very calmly and keeping all things plausible and practical, you might realise that the best way forward may not be the ideal way but it is the most calm and centered way. Often one has to operate from the largest good but your well-being is also a part of that largest good. It is never easy to take such decisions but if one has explored all options and with a calm mind realised that the one that makes most sense might not be to one’s liking but it is the most appropriate course of action then keeping one’s personal feelings in the background, it would be sane and mature to go ahead with that course of action. A situation where nobody might win but you don’t burn the house, yourself and your loved ones to ashes.
Life is most often unpalatable. The meals dished out in the karmic kitchen taste like crap. That doesn’t mean one has to cut off one’s tongue. You just never know. The most sublime delicacy might be waiting for you, just a spoonful away.
Be blessed always.
Ruzbeh N. Bharucha