Ruzbeh N. Bharucha
Dearest Baba Sai. I know You must be truly so busy. You have scores of devotees. Millions upon millions of those who love You. I am not going to get into true love and self centered love or need based love…whatever form of love, we all love You. What makes one dare to believe that his or her love is purer or truer or more divine or accepted than another lover of Yours. As a parent, You know each child and their potential and goodness and stupidity and priorities but where love is concerned You are so tender and merciful that Your love is for all…whether one deserves it or not, a parent loves each child.
I know that every single child of Yours shares a beautiful personal bond with you, so very different from the other. From the big life altering stuff or the disillusionments or hopes zooming down south at a pace that leaves one’s bollocks in a twist, to the most trivial and inane prattle, each one must, I am sure, reveal all to You and go through each experience with You and then either praise You, blame You or defend You.
I know Baba You are busy. I do not know how You do this? How You somehow manage to be with each one of us and You are truly present, in spite of us being so truly closed up and full of mental-emotional-karmic baggage but You still are present and You know what Baba Sai, I do not comprehend how You do this, each moment of each second of each minute of each hour of each day of each week of each month of each year of each lifetime, every life time, life time after life time and even beyond this plane and in all the worlds, I mean, how You do it? Maybe I will understand how You do it but why You do it, I will never comprehend.
Why would You keep working on us and keep believing in our inherent goodness and trust that some moment, some day, some lifetime we will truly understand the importance of The One and begin our journey back Home. That we are not the body but the Spirit within the body and when we begin to realise this, not intellectually but truly from within, then everything changes; all priorities are measured for their inherent worth under the vigilance of The Permanence of the Spirit.
I know You are with us. I am clear that Your hands may be bound often due to the water tight workings of the law of cause and effect, the realm of Karma. I know You must hurt when we are getting a thrashing of our lives, either due to the past catching up with us or due to Free Will gone wrong or just our inherent self destructive streak. I know there are times You have to stand by the sidelines while we have our nose rubbed into the ground and the life kicked out of us. Often, the very Heavens have to stand by and watch the cleansing.
I know Baba Sai You truly love each one of us. Whether we deserve Your love or not, it does not matter to You, as You believe we all are One and we all have come from The One and we shall merge back being One. I guess the motto of Yours and all the Masters is simple. Do not leave any body behind.
I know Your presence in our lives is not some illusion or play of some feel good self suggestive therapy. You are real. That is my only reality. If there is something I would wager my very soul, it is about You being with us, each moment we want You to be with us. That You are real and with each one of us, irrespective of whether we deserve it or not. We just need You to be with us. You and your army of workers-devotees-children-Ange- ls, are with us. The day You say, this one is mine, that is that. A bond for eternity and beyond is forged which can’t be separated by anything.
I know many must truly chant Your name, through the day and night or whenever the time permits or when life becomes like a monsoon sky, dark as night, when still mid afternoon and that You hear each one of us who truly calls out to You with heart and soul and love and as a child calling out to one’s Parent. I know this is the truth.
I am also certain that when somebody is slandering us. Spreading lies. Hate. Gossip. Holy than all. I know it truly hurts You as You have said often nothing hurts You more when people do gossip, slander, fight. But then we will always remain self absorbed with our own self destruction. You have said that those who indulge in back biting, slander, gossip, in reality wash away our dark karmas and lighten our burden by default and darken their auras, and release us from going through angst, hurt and pain of a more real kind, but only if we conduct ourselves with dignity will this make any sense, or else, if we react and get down to the level of those who indulge in tarnishing and slandering, then we only complicate the karmic blue print. Thus, even when somebody does any wrong unto us, You have assured us that if we conduct ourselves with dignified silence, our detractors help us immensely by making less heavy our karmic load. You have compared these people who slander as pigs who eat their own shit and the crap of others. Thus, You want us to pray for those who help us tremendously, though by default.
That when somebody deceives us, hurts us, violates us, the individual helps us lighten our karmic load. That whatever one goes through, if done with dignity, it makes You truly happy and proud of us. Whether there is spiritual truth in this or You want us just to feel happy and calm or it is a way of You telling us, what needs to be gone through should be experienced with calmness, for whatever reason, the fact is knowing that You know all that we go through, only makes this journey worthwhile. Makes this journey bearable. Sufferable. Knowing that You are aware and with You being aware, You still have not done anything, means You have given Your permission for each one to go through our ordeal. Knowing this that You are with us through the pain, the angst, the humiliation and the heartache, it gives us the strength to plod on with head held high with the belief that You are with us.
Be it death of a loved one or failure, You are standing by our side, going through our pain, as we are Your children, and as our Father and Mother and all relationships rolled into one, i refuse to believe that You do not feel our pain. Even if the pain comes forth from attachment to the senses or ignorance, our pain is as real to us as the spirit world is to You, and You are aware of this, and You carry us, if we allow You to, through our angst and heart break.
You have told us to go through whatever is in store for us gracefully but Baba, You do not seem to realise, if we go through whatever is in store for us calmly or gracefully or bruce lee, in reality we are conducting ourselves with grace because we want to make You happy and proud of us. Who cares about grace or whatever, it is You who matters and what You think and feel, that is paramount. You know this I hope. Your kids don’t care a rat’s arse about grace. It is You and You and only You we care about.
You are aware that for Your devotees, even the very heaven does not hold a candle to You Who wants heaven. We want You. You are the One, who time and again, guides us to give our duty importance but not get drowned into the myriad by lanes of the senses but to do one’s lot honestly and leave the rest to You. Meditation, Kundalini, various types of powers are paths for the yogis. For us, Your name is the seven dimensions and the three worlds of Lord Brahma, Lord Vishnu and Lord Siva. You are our Trinity. You are our Goddess. You are the Mantra and the pronunciation and the vibrations and the pause between the words.
We love you Baba. Have mercy on us and never let go of us. We are messed up with varying degrees of stupidity and self destructiveness. Bear with us. Someday we are going to make You smile and make You proud. Till then puff deeply on Your chillum to keep Your darling nerves calm. Just do not give up on us. We are Yours. Do as you wish. Just once in a while make us feel Your presence. You know we are as spiritually sensitive as the nearest lamp post, alien to all this psychic and spiritual and paranormal stuff. So please give us obvious signs of your Presence. Ideally come to us when we are asleep in our dreams, and hug us tight or if in a hurry just a pat on the head would be great too or maybe just a warm whaaatsupppppp bachha would be more than cool. And yes, do us a favour, let us remember the dream for God’s sake.
Ok Baba Sai, I would like to believe that You have read this inane rambling. If You haven’t, not good, not good, chop chop, read it please. And oh yes, happy Guru’s Day to You and all The Divine, Perfect, Ancient, Ascended Masters and please never forget that however flawed we may be, we are Yours.
Jai Baba my Sai. Jai Baba my Baba.
Ruzbeh N. Bharucha